Twelve Stories and a Dream

A thing that impressed him instantly, and which weighed upon him throughout all this experience, was the stillness of this place – he was in a world without sound.

At first Mr. Bessel’s mental state was an unemotional wonder. His thought chiefly concerned itself with where he might be. He was out of the body – out of his material body, at any rate – but that was not all. He believes, and I for one believe also, that he was somewhere out of space, as we understand it, altogether. By a strenuous effort of will he had passed out of his body into a world beyond this world, a world undreamt of, yet lying so close to it and so strangely situated with regard to it that all things on this earth are clearly visible both from without and from within in this other world about us. For a long time, as it seemed to him, this realisation occupied his mind to the exclusion of all other matters, and then he recalled the engagement with Mr. Vincey, to which this astonishing experience was, after all, but a prelude.

He turned his mind to locomotion in this new body in which he found himself. For a time he was unable to shift himself from his attachment to his earthly carcass. For a time this new strange cloud body of his simply swayed, contracted, expanded, coiled, and writhed with his efforts to free himself, and then quite suddenly the link that bound him snapped. For a moment everything was hidden by what appeared to be whirling spheres of dark vapour, and then through a momentary gap he saw his drooping body collapse limply, saw his lifeless head drop sideways, and found he was driving along like a huge cloud in a strange place of shadowy clouds that had the luminous intricacy of London spread like a model below.

But now he was aware that the fluctuating vapour about him was something more than vapour, and the temerarious excitement of his first essay was shot with fear. For he perceived, at first indistinctly, and then suddenly very clearly, that he was surrounded by FACES! that each roll and coil of the seeming cloud-stuff was a face. And such faces! Faces of thin shadow, faces of gaseous tenuity. Faces like those faces that glare with intolerable strangeness upon the sleeper in the evil hours of his dreams. Evil, greedy eyes that were full of a covetous curiosity, faces with knit brows and snarling, smiling lips; their vague hands clutched at Mr. Bessel as he passed, and the rest of their bodies was but an elusive streak of trailing darkness. Never a word they said, never a sound from the mouths that seemed to gibber. All about him they pressed in that dreamy silence, passing freely through the dim mistiness that was his body, gathering ever more numerously about him. And the shadowy Mr. Bessel, now suddenly fear-stricken, drove through the silent, active multitude of eyes and clutching hands.

So inhuman were these faces, so malignant their staring eyes, and shadowy, clawing gestures, that it did not occur to Mr. Bessel to attempt intercourse with these drifting creatures. Idiot phantoms, they seemed, children of vain desire, beings unborn and forbidden the boon of being, whose only expressions and gestures told of the envy and craving for life that was their one link with existence.

It says much for his resolution that, amidst the swarming cloud of these noiseless spirits of evil, he could still think of Mr. Vincey. He made a violent effort of will and found himself, he knew not how, stooping towards Staple Inn, saw Vincey sitting attentive and alert in his arm-chair by the fire.

And clustering also about him, as they clustered ever about all that lives and breathes, was another multitude of these vain voiceless shadows, longing, desiring, seeking some loophole into life.

For a space Mr. Bessel sought ineffectually to attract his friend’s attention. He tried to get in front of his eyes, to move the objects in his room, to touch him. But Mr. Vincey remained unaffected, ignorant of the being that was so close to his own. The strange something that Mr. Bessel has compared to a sheet of glass separated them impermeably.

And at last Mr. Bessel did a desperate thing. I have told how that in some strange way he could see not only the outside of a man as we see him, but within. He extended his shadowy hand and thrust his vague black fingers, as it seemed, through the heedless brain.

Then, suddenly, Mr. Vincey started like a man who recalls his attention from wandering thoughts, and it seemed to Mr. Bessel that a little dark-red body situated in the middle of Mr. Vincey’s brain swelled and glowed as he did so. Since that experience he has been shown anatomical figures of the brain, and he knows now that this is that useless structure, as doctors call it, the pineal eye. For, strange as it will seem to many, we have, deep in our brains – where it cannot possibly see any earthly light – an eye! At the time this, with the rest of the internal anatomy of the brain, was quite new to him. At the sight of its changed appearance, however, he thrust forth his finger, and, rather fearful still of the consequences, touched this little spot. And instantly Mr. Vincey started, and Mr. Bessel knew that he was seen.

And at that instant it came to Mr. Bessel that evil had happened to his body, and behold! a great wind blew through all that world of shadows and tore him away. So strong was this persuasion that he thought no more of Mr. Vincey, but turned about forthwith, and all the countless faces drove back with him like leaves before a gale. But he returned too late. In an instant he saw the body that he had left inert and collapsed – lying, indeed, like the body of a man just dead – had arisen, had arisen by virtue of some strength and will beyond his own. It stood with staring eyes, stretching its limbs in dubious fashion.

For a moment he watched it in wild dismay, and then he stooped towards it. But the pane of glass had closed against him again, and he was foiled. He beat himself passionately against this, and all about him the spirits of evil grinned and pointed and mocked. He gave way to furious anger. He compares himself to a bird that has fluttered heedlessly into a room and is beating at the window-pane that holds it back from freedom.

And behold! the little body that had once been his was now dancing with delight. He saw it shouting, though he could not hear its shouts; he saw the violence of its movements grow. He watched it fling his cherished furniture about in the mad delight of existence, rend his books apart, smash bottles, drink heedlessly from the jagged fragments, leap and smite in a passionate acceptance of living. He watched these actions in paralysed astonishment. Then once more he hurled himself against the impassable barrier, and then with all that crew of mocking ghosts about him, hurried back in dire confusion to Vincey to tell him of the outrage that had come upon him.

But the brain of Vincey was now closed against apparitions, and the disembodied Mr. Bessel pursued him in vain as he hurried out into Holborn to call a cab. Foiled and terror-stricken, Mr. Bessel swept back again, to find his desecrated body whooping in a glorious frenzy down the Burlington Arcade…

And now the attentive reader begins to understand Mr. Bessel’s interpretation of the first part of this strange story. The being whose frantic rush through London had inflicted so much injury and disaster had indeed Mr. Bessel’s body, but it was not Mr. Bessel. It was an evil spirit out of that strange world beyond existence, into which Mr. Bessel had so rashly ventured. For twenty hours it held possession of him, and for all those twenty hours the dispossessed spirit-body of Mr. Bessel was going to and fro in that unheard-of middle world of shadows seeking help in vain. He spent many hours beating at the minds of Mr. Vincey and of his friend Mr. Hart. Each, as we know, he roused by his efforts. But the language that might convey his situation to these helpers across the gulf he did not know; his feeble fingers groped vainly and powerlessly in their brains. Once, indeed, as we have already told, he was able to turn Mr. Vincey aside from his path so that he encountered the stolen body in its career, but he could not make him understand the thing that had happened: he was unable to draw any help from that encounter…

All through those hours the persuasion was overwhelming in Mr. Bessel’s mind that presently his body would be killed by its furious tenant, and he would have to remain in this shadow-land for evermore. So that those long hours were a growing agony of fear. And ever as he hurried to and fro in his ineffectual excitement, innumerable spirits of that world about him mobbed him and confused his mind. And ever an envious applauding multitude poured after their successful fellow as he went upon his glorious career.

For that, it would seem, must be the life of these bodiless things of this world that is the shadow of our world. Ever they watch, coveting a way into a mortal body, in order that they may descend, as furies and frenzies, as violent lusts and mad, strange impulses, rejoicing in the body they have won. For Mr. Bessel was not the only human soul in that place. Witness the fact that he met first one, and afterwards several shadows of men, men like himself, it seemed, who had lost their bodies even it may be as he had lost his, and wandered, despairingly, in that lost world that is neither life nor death. They could not speak because that world is silent, yet he knew them for men because of their dim human bodies, and because of the sadness of their faces.

But how they had come into that world he could not tell, nor where the bodies they had lost might be, whether they still raved about the earth, or whether they were closed forever in death against return. That they were the spirits of the dead neither he nor I believe. But Doctor Wilson Paget thinks they are the rational souls of men who are lost in madness on the earth.

At last Mr. Bessel chanced upon a place where a little crowd of such disembodied silent creatures was gathered, and thrusting through them he saw below a brightly-lit room, and four or five quiet gentlemen and a woman, a stoutish woman dressed in black bombazine and sitting awkwardly in a chair with her head thrown back. He knew her from her portraits to be Mrs. Bullock, the medium. And he perceived that tracts and structures in her brain glowed and stirred as he had seen the pineal eye in the brain of Mr. Vincey glow. The light was very fitful; sometimes it was a broad illumination, and sometimes merely a faint twilight spot, and it shifted slowly about her brain. She kept on talking and writing with one hand. And Mr. Bessel saw that the crowding shadows of men about him, and a great multitude of the shadow spirits of that shadowland, were all striving and thrusting to touch the lighted regions of her brain. As one gained her brain or another was thrust away, her voice and the writing of her hand changed. So that what she said was disorderly and confused for the most part; now a fragment of one soul’s message, and now a fragment of another’s, and now she babbled the insane fancies of the spirits of vain desire. Then Mr. Bessel understood that she spoke for the spirit that had touch of her, and he began to struggle very furiously towards her. But he was on the outside of the crowd and at that time he could not reach her, and at last, growing anxious, he went away to find what had happened meanwhile to his body. For a long time he went to and fro seeking it in vain and fearing that it must have been killed, and then he found it at the bottom of the shaft in Baker Street, writhing furiously and cursing with pain. Its leg and an arm and two ribs had been broken by its fall. Moreover, the evil spirit was angry because his time had been so short and because of the painmaking violent movements and casting his body about.

And at that Mr. Bessel returned with redoubled earnestness to the room where the seance was going on, and so soon as he had thrust himself within sight of the place he saw one of the men who stood about the medium looking at his watch as if he meant that the seance should presently end. At that a great number of the shadows who had been striving turned away with gestures of despair. But the thought that the seance was almost over only made Mr. Bessel the more earnest, and he struggled so stoutly with his will against the others that presently he gained the woman’s brain. It chanced that just at that moment it glowed very brightly, and in that instant she wrote the message that Doctor Wilson Paget preserved. And then the other shadows and the cloud of evil spirits about him had thrust Mr. Bessel away from her, and for all the rest of the seance he could regain her no more.

So he went back and watched through the long hours at the bottom of the shaft where the evil spirit lay in the stolen body it had maimed, writhing and cursing, and weeping and groaning, and learning the lesson of pain. And towards dawn the thing he had waited for happened, the brain glowed brightly and the evil spirit came out, and Mr. Bessel entered the body he had feared he should never enter again. As he did so, the silence – the brooding silence – ended; he heard the tumult of traffic and the voices of people overhead, and that strange world that is the shadow of our world – the dark and silent shadows of ineffectual desire and the shadows of lost men – vanished clean away.

He lay there for the space of about three hours before he was found. And in spite of the pain and suffering of his wounds, and of the dim damp place in which he lay; in spite of the tears – wrung from him by his physical distress – his heart was full of gladness to know that he was nevertheless back once more in the kindly world of men.

11. MR. BRISHER’S TREASURE

“You can’t be TOO careful WHO you marry,” said Mr. Brisher, and pulled thoughtfully with a fat-wristed hand at the lank moustache that hides his want of chin.

“That’s why – ” I ventured.

“Yes,” said Mr. Brisher, with a solemn light in his bleary, blue-grey eyes, moving his head expressively and breathing alcohol INTIMATELY at me. “There’s lots as ‘ave ‘ad a try at me – many as I could name in this town – but none ‘ave done it – none.”

I surveyed the flushed countenance, the equatorial expansion, the masterly carelessness of his attire, and heaved a sigh to think that by reason of the unworthiness of women he must needs be the last of his race.

“I was a smart young chap when I was younger,” said Mr. Brisher. “I ‘ad my work cut out. But I was very careful – very. And I got through…”

He leant over the taproom table and thought visibly on the subject of my trustworthiness. I was relieved at last by his confidence.

“I was engaged once,” he said at last, with a reminiscent eye on the shuv-a’penny board.

“So near as that?”

He looked at me. “So near as that. Fact is – ” He looked about him, brought his face close to mine, lowered his voice, and fenced off an unsympathetic world with a grimy hand. “If she ain’t dead or married to some one else or anything – I’m engaged still. Now.” He confirmed this statement with nods and facial contortions. “STILL,” he said, ending the pantomime, and broke into a reckless smile at my surprise. “ME!”

“Run away,” he explained further, with coruscating eyebrows. “Come ‘ome.

“That ain’t all.

“You’d ‘ardly believe it,” he said, “but I found a treasure. Found a regular treasure.”

I fancied this was irony, and did not, perhaps, greet it with proper surprise. “Yes,” he said, “I found a treasure. And come ‘ome. I tell you I could surprise you with things that has happened to me.” And for some time he was content to repeat that he had found a treasure – and left it.

I made no vulgar clamour for a story, but I became attentive to Mr. Brisher’s bodily needs, and presently I led him back to the deserted lady.

“She was a nice girl,” he said – a little sadly, I thought. “AND respectable.”

He raised his eyebrows and tightened his mouth to express extreme respectability – beyond the likes of us elderly men.

“It was a long way from ‘ere. Essex, in fact. Near Colchester. It was when I was up in London – in the buildin’ trade. I was a smart young chap then, I can tell you. Slim. ‘Ad best clo’es ‘s good as anybody. ‘At – SILK ‘at, mind you.” Mr. Brisher’s hand shot above his head towards the infinite to indicate it silk hat of the highest. “Umbrella – nice umbrella with a ‘orn ‘andle. Savin’s. Very careful I was…”

He was pensive for a little while, thinking, as we must all come to think sooner or later, of the vanished brightness of youth. But he refrained, as one may do in taprooms, from the obvious moral.

“I got to know ‘er through a chap what was engaged to ‘er sister. She was stopping in London for a bit with an aunt that ‘ad a ‘am an’ beef shop. This aunt was very particular – they was all very particular people, all ‘er people was – and wouldn’t let ‘er sister go out with this feller except ‘er other sister, MY girl that is, went with them. So ‘e brought me into it, sort of to ease the crowding. We used to go walks in Battersea Park of a Sunday afternoon. Me in my topper, and ‘im in ‘is; and the girl’s – well – stylish. There wasn’t many in Battersea Park ‘ad the larf of us. She wasn’t what you’d call pretty, but a nicer girl I never met. I liked ‘er from the start, and, well – though I say it who shouldn’t – she liked me. You know ‘ow it is, I dessay?”

I pretended I did.

“And when this chap married ‘er sister – ‘im and me was great friends – what must ‘e do but arst me down to Colchester, close by where She lived. Naturally I was introjuced to ‘er people, and well, very soon, her and me was engaged.”

He repeated “engaged.”

“She lived at ‘ome with ‘er father and mother, quite the lady, in a very nice little ‘ouse with a garden – and remarkable respectable people they was. Rich you might call ‘em a’most. They owned their own ‘ouse – got it out of the Building Society, and cheap because the chap who had it before was a burglar and in prison – and they ‘ad a bit of free’old land, and some cottages and money ‘nvested – all nice and tight: they was what you’d call snug and warm. I tell you, I was On. Furniture too. Why! They ‘ad a pianner. Jane – ‘er name was Jane – used to play it Sundays, and very nice she played too. There wasn’t ‘ardly a ‘im toon in the book she COULDN’T play…

“Many’s the evenin’ we’ve met and sung ‘ims there, me and ‘er and the family.

“‘Er father was quite a leadin’ man in chapel. You should ha’ seen him Sundays, interruptin’ the minister and givin’ out ‘ims. He had gold spectacles, I remember, and used to look over ‘em at you while he sang hearty – he was always great on singing ‘earty to the Lord – and when HE got out o’ toon ‘arf the people went after ‘im – always. ‘E was that sort of man. And to walk be’ind ‘im in ‘is nice black clo’es – ‘is ‘at was a brimmer – made one regular proud to be engaged to such a father-in-law. And when the summer came I went down there and stopped a fortnight.

“Now, you know there was a sort of Itch,” said Mr. Brisher. “We wanted to marry, me and Jane did, and get things settled. But ‘E said I ‘ad to get a proper position first. Consequently there was a Itch. Consequently, when I went down there, I was anxious to show that I was a good useful sort of chap like. Show I could do pretty nearly everything like. See?”

I made a sympathetic noise.

“And down at the bottom of their garden was a bit of wild part like. So I says to ‘im, ‘Why don’t you ‘ave a rockery ‘ere?’ I says. ‘It ‘ud look nice.’

“‘Too much expense,’ he says.

“‘Not a penny,’ says I. ‘I’m a dab at rockeries. Lemme make you one.’ You see, I’d ‘elped my brother make a rockery in the beer garden be’ind ‘is tap, so I knew ‘ow to do it to rights. ‘Lemme make you one,’ I says. ‘It’s ‘olidays, but I’m that sort of chap, I ‘ate doing nothing,’ I says. ‘I’ll make you one to rights.’ And the long and the short of it was, he said I might.

“And that’s ‘ow I come on the treasure.”

“What treasure?” I asked.

“Why!” said Mr. Brisher, “the treasure I’m telling you about, what’s the reason why I never married.”

“What! – a treasure – dug up?”

“Yes – buried wealth – treasure trove. Come out of the ground. What I kept on saying – regular treasure…” He looked at me with unusual disrespect.

“It wasn’t more than a foot deep, not the top of it,” he said. “I’d ‘ardly got thirsty like, before I come on the corner.”

“Go on,” I said. “I didn’t understand.”

“Why! Directly I ‘it the box I knew it was treasure. A sort of instinct told me. Something seemed to shout inside of me – ‘Now’s your chance – lie low.’ It’s lucky I knew the laws of treasure trove or I’d ‘ave been shoutin’ there and then. I daresay you know – ”

“Crown bags it,” I said, “all but one per cent. Go on. It’s a shame. What did you do?”

“Uncovered the top of the box. There wasn’t anybody in the garden or about like. Jane was ‘elping ‘er mother do the ‘ouse. I WAS excited – I tell you. I tried the lock and then gave a whack at the hinges. Open it came. Silver coins – full! Shining. It made me tremble to see ‘em. And jest then – I’m blessed if the dustman didn’t come round the back of the ‘ouse. It pretty nearly gave me ‘eart disease to think what a fool I was to ‘ave that money showing. And directly after I ‘eard the chap next door – ‘e was ‘olidaying, too – I ‘eard him watering ‘is beans. If only ‘e’d looked over the fence!”

“What did you do?”

“Kicked the lid on again and covered it up like a shot, and went on digging about a yard away from it – like mad. And my face, so to speak, was laughing on its own account till I had it hid. I tell you I was regular scared like at my luck. I jest thought that it ‘ad to be kep’ close and that was all. ‘Treasure,’ I kep’ whisperin’ to myself, ‘Treasure’ and ‘’undreds of pounds, ‘undreds, ‘undreds of pounds.’ Whispering to myself like, and digging like blazes. It seemed to me the box was regular sticking out and showing, like your legs do under the sheets in bed, and I went and put all the earth I’d got out of my ‘ole for the rockery slap on top of it. I WAS in a sweat. And in the midst of it all out toddles ‘er father. He didn’t say anything to me, jest stood behind me and stared, but Jane tole me afterwards when he went indoors, ‘e says, ‘That there jackanapes of yours, Jane’ – he always called me a jackanapes some’ow – ‘knows ‘ow to put ‘is back into it after all.’ Seemed quite impressed by it, ‘e did.”

“How long was the box?” I asked, suddenly.

“‘Ow long?” said Mr. Brisher.

“Yes – in length?”

“Oh! ‘bout so-by-so.” Mr. Brisher indicated a moderate-sized trunk.

“FULL?” said I.

“Full up of silver coins – ‘arf-crowns, I believe.”

“Why!” I cried, “that would mean – hundreds of pounds.”

“Thousands,” said Mr. Brisher, in a sort of sad calm. “I calc’lated it out.”

“But how did they get there?”

“All I know is what I found. What I thought at the time was this. The chap who’d owned the ‘ouse before ‘er father ‘d been a regular slap-up burglar. What you’d call a ‘igh-class criminal. Used to drive ‘is trap – like Peace did.” Mr. Brisher meditated on the difficulties of narration and embarked on a complicated parenthesis. “I don’t know if I told you it’d been a burglar’s ‘ouse before it was my girl’s father’s, and I knew ‘e’d robbed a mail train once, I did know that. It seemed to me – ”

“That’s very likely,” I said. “But what did you do?”

“Sweated,” said Mr. Brisher. “Regular run orf me. All that morning,” said Mr. Brisher, “I was at it, pretending to make that rockery and wondering what I should do. I’d ‘ave told ‘er father p’r’aps, only I was doubtful of ‘is honesty – I was afraid he might rob me of it like, and give it up to the authorities – and besides, considering I was marrying into the family, I thought it would be nicer like if it came through me. Put me on a better footing, so to speak. Well, I ‘ad three days before me left of my ‘olidays, so there wasn’t no hurry, so I covered it up and went on digging, and tried to puzzle out ‘ow I was to make sure of it. Only I couldn’t.

“I thought,” said Mr. Brisher, “AND I thought. Once I got regular doubtful whether I’d seen it or not, and went down to it and ‘ad it uncovered again, just as her ma came out to ‘ang up a bit of washin’ she’d done. Jumps again! Afterwards I was just thinking I’d ‘ave another go at it, when Jane comes to tell me dinner was ready. ‘You’ll want it,’ she said, ‘seeing all the ‘ole you’ve dug.’

“I was in a regular daze all dinner, wondering whether that chap next door wasn’t over the fence and filling ‘is pockets. But in the afternoon I got easier in my mind – it seemed to me it must ‘ave been there so long it was pretty sure to stop a bit longer – and I tried to get up a bit of a discussion to dror out the old man and see what ‘E thought of treasure trove.”

Mr. Brisher paused, and affected amusement at the memory.

“The old man was a scorcher,” he said; “a regular scorcher.”

“What!” said I; “did he – ?”

“It was like this,” explained Mr. Brisher, laying a friendly hand on my arm and breathing into my face to calm me. “Just to dror ‘im out, I told a story of a chap I said I knew – pretendin’, you know – who’d found a sovring in a novercoat ‘e’d borrowed. I said ‘e stuck to it, but I said I wasn’t sure whether that was right or not. And then the old man began. Lor’! ‘e DID let me ‘ave it!” Mr. Brisher affected an insincere amusement. “‘E was, well – what you might call a rare ‘and at Snacks. Said that was the sort of friend ‘e’d naturally expect me to ‘ave. Said ‘e’d naturally expect that from the friend of a out-of-work loafer who took up with daughters who didn’t belong to ‘im. There! I couldn’t tell you ‘ARF ‘e said. ‘E went on most outrageous. I stood up to ‘im about it, just to dror ‘im out. ‘Wouldn’t you stick to a ‘arf-sov’, not if you found it in the street?’ I says. ‘Certainly not,’ ‘e says; ‘certainly I wouldn’t.’ ‘What! not if you found it as a sort of treasure?’ ‘Young man,’ ‘e says, ‘there’s ‘i’er ‘thority than mine – Render unto Caesar’ – what is it? Yes. Well, he fetched up that. A rare ‘and at ‘itting you over the ‘ed with the Bible, was the old man. And so he went on. ‘E got to such Snacks about me at last I couldn’t stand it. I’d promised Jane not to answer ‘im back, but it got a bit TOO thick. I – I give it ‘im…”

Mr. Brisher, by means of enigmatical facework, tried to make me think he had had the best of that argument, but I knew better.

“I went out in a ‘uff at last. But not before I was pretty sure I ‘ad to lift that treasure by myself. The only thing that kep’ me up was thinking ‘ow I’d take it out of ‘im when I ‘ad the cash.”

There was a lengthy pause.

“Now, you’d ‘ardly believe it, but all them three days I never ‘ad a chance at the blessed treasure, never got out not even a ‘arf-crown. There was always a Somethink – always.

“‘Stonishing thing it isn’t thought of more,” said Mr. Brisher. “Finding treasure’s no great shakes. It’s gettin’ it. I don’t suppose I slep’ a wink any of those nights, thinking where I was to take it, what I was to do with it, ‘ow I was to explain it. It made me regular ill. And days I was that dull, it made Jane regular ‘uffy. ‘You ain’t the same chap you was in London,’ she says, several times. I tried to lay it on ‘er father and ‘is Snacks, but bless you, she knew better. What must she ‘ave but that I’d got another girl on my mind! Said I wasn’t True. Well, we had a bit of a row. But I was that set on the Treasure, I didn’t seem to mind a bit Anything she said.

“Well, at last I got a sort of plan. I was always a bit good at planning, though carrying out isn’t so much in my line. I thought it all out and settled on a plan. First, I was going to take all my pockets full of these ‘ere ‘arf-crowns – see? – and afterwards as I shall tell.

“Well, I got to that state I couldn’t think of getting at the Treasure again in the daytime, so I waited until the night before I had to go, and then, when everything was still, up I gets and slips down to the back door, meaning to get my pockets full. What must I do in the scullery but fall over a pail! Up gets ‘er father with a gun – ‘e was a light sleeper was ‘er father, and very suspicious and there was me: ‘ad to explain I’d come down to the pump for a drink because my water-bottle was bad. ‘E didn’t let me off a Snack or two over that bit, you lay a bob.”

“And you mean to say – ” I began.

“Wait a bit,” said Mr. Brisher. “I say, I’d made my plan. That put the kybosh on one bit, but it didn’t ‘urt the general scheme not a bit. I went and I finished that rockery next day, as though there wasn’t a Snack in the world; cemented over the stones, I did, dabbed it green and everythink. I put a dab of green just to show where the box was. They all came and looked at it, and sai ‘ow nice it was – even ‘e was a bit softer like to see it, and all he said was, ‘It’s a pity you can’t always work like that, then you might get something definite to do,’ he says.

“‘Yes,’ I says – I couldn’t ‘elp it – ‘I put a lot in that rockery,’ I says, like that. See? ‘I put a lot in that rockery’ – meaning – ”

“I see,” said I – for Mr. Brisher is apt to overelaborate his jokes.

“‘E didn’t,” said Mr. Brisher. “Not then, anyhow.

“Ar’ever – after all that was over, off I set for London… Orf I set for London.”

Pause.

“On’y I wasn’t going to no London,” said Mr. Brisher, with sudden animation, and thrusting his face into mine. “No fear! What do YOU think?

“I didn’t go no further than Colchester – not a yard.

“I’d left the spade just where I could find it. I’d got everything planned and right. I ‘ired a little trap in Colchester, and pretended I wanted to go to Ipswich and stop the night, and come back next day, and the chap I ‘ired it from made me leave two sovrings on it right away, and off I set.

“I didn’t go to no Ipswich neither.

“Midnight the ‘orse and trap was ‘itched by the little road that ran by the cottage where ‘e lived – not sixty yards off, it wasn’t – and I was at it like a good ‘un. It was jest the night for such games – overcast – but a trifle too ‘ot, and all round the sky there was summer lightning and presently a thunderstorm. Down it came. First big drops in a sort of fizzle, then ‘ail. I kep’on. I whacked at it – I didn’t dream the old man would ‘ear. I didn’t even trouble to go quiet with the spade, and the thunder and lightning and ‘ail seemed to excite me like. I shouldn’t wonder if I was singing. I got so ‘ard at it I clean forgot the thunder and the ‘orse and trap. I precious soon got the box showing, and started to lift it…”