Als zwölfjähriges, vorpubertäres und unbedarftes Milchbubigesicht aus Hamburg lernte ich in der letzten Woche meiner Sommerferien im bäuerlichen, unterfränkischen Eichenfürst durch die einheimische dreizehnjährige Karin die Sexualität kennen.

Kurz darauf verführte mich die ältere Schwester meiner neununddreißigjährigen Mutter.

In ihrem Schlafzimmer brachte Tante Grete mir in drei Monaten alles bei, was ausschließlich sie wollte und genoss mich als blutjungen Spritzer, der mehrmals hintereinander konnte, bis sie zur Geburtstagsfeier meiner Mutter unverhofft einen glatzköpfigen Chauffeur von ESSO anschleppte und nichts mehr von mir wissen wollte. Im folgenden Jahrzehnt war für mich, bis auf eine kurze Affäre mit Sybille, Schluss mit dem Sex. Die «Mittlere Reife» schaffte ich mit der Gesamtnote: befriedigend.

Ich erlernte das Mauerhandwerk und war bis zu meiner Graduierung zum Hochbauingenieur im Frühjahr 1971 ein Stubenhocker und Streber.

Während meines ersten Jobs dauerte es nicht lange, bis ich zum Aufreißer wurde und die Frauen wechselte, wie mir der Sinn stand. Aber auch ich wurde häufig in die Wüste geschickt.

Meine zweiten und dritten Jobs wurden echte Herausforderungen. Ich mutierte zum Workaholic und sah die Erfüllung nur noch in der Arbeit. Am Sex hatte ich kaum noch Interesse, doch mit Martina eine verständnisvolle Lebensgefährtin.

Nach etlichen Jahren wurde es mir zu viel, ständig am Limit zu arbeiten.

Ich wechselte zu einem Bauträger, bei dem ich mit einem fetten Gehalt und dickem Firmenwagen eine ruhige Kugel schob und erlebte als abgeklärter Mittvierziger eine sexuelle Renaissance. Mit einem befreundeten Paar probierten Martina und ich auch den Partnertausch.

Nach der Trennung von ihr, nahm ich die Frauen, wie sie kamen. Doch Liebe war es nie.

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