Jonas, 26jährig, an einen Punkt der völligen Lebensverneinung getrieben, macht die Probe: Von zwei äußerlich völlig identischen Flaschen enthält eine einen Zusatz von Barbituraten, die ein friedliches Einschlafen ohne ein Wiedererwachen ermöglichen. Er greift die eine der Flaschen und leert sie. Was wird geschehen?

Er muss schließlich begreifen, dass ihm dies Leben bewahrt bleiben wird. Und doch: Es wird der Schritt in eine veränderte Existenz. «Er hatte den Tod berührt, ohne Abwehr. Er hatte den Mut zum 'Absprung' bewiesen. Das wusste er nun…»

Er lebt sein Leben weiter, als wäre sein Sterben geschehen. «Von nun an spielst du dein Leben. Du schaust dir zu. Alles was bleibt, ist ein waches, sammelndes Auge.»

Dies doch bedeutet kein inneres «Absterben», im Gegenteil: sein gesamtes Wahrnehmen wird facettenreicher und klarer. Und auch seine bisher so vernunftgesteuerte Lebensart wird eine andere. Er lässt sich auf Neues, Ungewöhnliches, zunehmend auch äußerst Gefahrvolles ein. Alles ist «ohne Gewicht».

Jede Freiheit ist möglich – die Grenze ist einzig jeder Schritt in die Gewalt. Und doch wird er am Ende zwei Menschen erschießen. Er hat die Intensität einer Nähe und Liebe erfahren, die selbst ein solches Gesetz schließlich aufheben kann.

Recht oder Unrecht?

Wie lebt jemand weiter nach einer Probe, die die bewusste Annahme des eigenen Todes war? Wie gelingt ein Versuch, sich von jeder alten Bindung zu lösen und vollkommen frei zu sein?

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