No Other Choice

I came clean with four murders. However, it was evaluated as my own defence. Therefore, they gave most a life sentence but a 15-year-old term. It’s pretty great, isn’t it? Considering how I killed them, why I killed them and that it wasn’t particularly self defense, I got a damn good term. Could’ve been longer.

I started writing this book two months after getting here. Considering the childish level of language, plot, etc, it took me only three months. However, I want to grow, so it’s not my last book. I want to be a writer. Here I’m going to study basics, and then want to get into a college writing program. I will have a good life ahead of me if I do not mess up things here. I’m trying to change some aspects of my character.

I actually for a long time didn’t think that I would survive in the real world as an adult because I always tell what I think and I am kind of extreme in my views. I told my mother plenty of times that it is not right to beat your kids, that it is not okay to force children to take sides. My character always wanted to be the right version and the perfect version of a person. I never wanted to lie. I never wanted to be a fraud. Funny, considering four murders.

I had a quite disgusting life and that’s the reason why I’m the way I am. I do not think I would be a particularly bad person if I was a daughter of Jenifer Eniston.

I was constantly abused by each member of my family in any possible way. My father, mother, sister, two brothers, they used to mock me every single day. They would beat me if I didn't get them enough money. I dropped out of school in order to make more money. I worked since twelve because my parents brought nothing home and I wanted to eat something. I never slept more than seven hours. I had to go to the gym in order to be strong. Four times per week I exercised. That’s the reason why I wasn’t scared of everyone in the family, excluding Ilon. I even had to work as a stripper to make a hella lotta money. And I was able to do that, however, two times of harassment taught me that it was not worth the money, so I quit. I even once had a sweet boyfriend who turned out to be a total wackadoodle and abuser. He constantly beat hell out of me and cheated on me. I was eighteen and stupid back then. Bob, by the way, helped me out of this situation. It was unbearable. Every time I went to bed I wished I hadn’t woken up. I accumulated so many traumas and childhood issues that I can lend you a couple if you want. I guess if I was examined by a psychologist or psychiatrist, I would be diagnosed with all kinds of disorders.

I did a lot of bad stuff to those people as well. I guess we were worth one another. However, they did not dare to kill anyone.

My story is quite amusing, isn’t it? Some people will find it interesting, some people will find it disgusting. I agree with the latter. I was a disgusting person and I still am. However, I want to give myself a second chance. I usually do not believe that people can change but I’m not ready to give up on my life. I’m still young and have a life ahead of me. It worth a shot. I feel good right now, so I just want you to know that everyone deserves a second chance. Or at least I want to believe so. Now, let me show you the worst character of this story. My name is Florence Walker. I am currently twenty one years old and I am sitting in prison. The only thing that I will say in my defence and it's an extremely small one is that I came clean willingly. I always wanted to be a great person. However, rage lives in my blood and I was not able to control it. In retrospect, I realize that totally all my actions were wrong. Each one. I’m not a God to decide people’s destiny. I cannot decide when a person’s life ends. It is not how things work. I think my willingness is the only good thing about me.

I came clean with four murders. However, it was evaluated as my own defence. Therefore, they gave most a life sentence but a 15-year-old term. It’s pretty great, isn’t it? Considering how I killed them, why I killed them and that it wasn’t particularly self defense, I got a damn good term. Could’ve been longer.

I started writing this book two months after getting here. Considering the childish level of language, plot, etc, it took me only three months. However, I want to grow, so it’s not my last book. I want to be a writer. Here I’m going to study basics, and then want to get into a college writing program. I will have a good life ahead of me if I do not mess up things here. I’m trying to change some aspects of my character.

I actually for a long time didn’t think that I would survive in the real world as an adult because I always tell what I think and I am kind of extreme in my views. I told my mother plenty of times that it is not right to beat your kids, that it is not okay to force children to take sides. My character always wanted to be the right version and the perfect version of a person. I never wanted to lie. I never wanted to be a fraud. Funny, considering four murders.

I had a quite disgusting life and that’s the reason why I’m the way I am. I do not think I would be a particularly bad person if I was a daughter of Jenifer Eniston.

I was constantly abused by each member of my family in any possible way. My father, mother, sister, two brothers, they used to mock me every single day. They would beat me if I didn't get them enough money. I dropped out of school in order to make more money. I worked since twelve because my parents brought nothing home and I wanted to eat something. I never slept more than seven hours. I had to go to the gym in order to be strong. Four times per week I exercised. That’s the reason why I wasn’t scared of everyone in the family, excluding Ilon. I even had to work as a stripper to make a hella lotta money. And I was able to do that, however, two times of harassment taught me that it was not worth the money, so I quit. I even once had a sweet boyfriend who turned out to be a total wackadoodle and abuser. He constantly beat hell out of me and cheated on me. I was eighteen and stupid back then. Bob, by the way, helped me out of this situation. It was unbearable. Every time I went to bed I wished I hadn’t woken up. I accumulated so many traumas and childhood issues that I can lend you a couple if you want. I guess if I was examined by a psychologist or psychiatrist, I would be diagnosed with all kinds of disorders.

I did a lot of bad stuff to those people as well. I guess we were worth one another. However, they did not dare to kill anyone.

My story is quite amusing, isn’t it? Some people will find it interesting, some people will find it disgusting. I agree with the latter. I was a disgusting person and I still am. However, I want to give myself a second chance. I usually do not believe that people can change but I’m not ready to give up on my life. I’m still young and have a life ahead of me. It worth a shot. I feel good right now, so I just want you to know that everyone deserves a second chance. Or at least I want to believe so.