Second Edition of this Work, notwithstanding a large Impression of the First, is a Certificate from the World of its general Acceptation; so we need not, according to the Custom of Editors, boast of it without Evidence, or tell a F – b in its Favour.

The Subject is singular, and it has been handled after a singular Manner: The wise World has been pleased with it, the merry World has been diverted with it, and the ignorant World has been taught by it; none but the malicious part of the World has been offended at it: Who can wonder, that when the

Devil

is not pleased,

his Friends should be angry?

The strangest thing of it all is, to hear

Satan

complain that the Story is handled prophanely: But who can think it strange that his Advocates should

be, what he was from the Beginning?

The Author affirms, and has good Vouchers for it (in the Opinion of such whose Judgment passes with him for an Authority) that the whole Tenor of the Work is solemn, calculated to promote serious Religion, and capable of being improv’d in a religious manner. But he does not think that we are bound never to speak of the

Devil

but with an Air of Terror, as if we were always afraid of him.

’Tis evident the

Devil,

as subtle and as frightful as he is, has acted the ridiculous and foolish Part, as much as most of God’s Creatures, and daily does so. And he cannot believe ’tis any Sin to expose him for a foolish

Devil,

as he is, or shew the World that he may be laugh’d at.

Those that think the Subject not handled with Gravity enough, have all the Room given them in the World to handle it better; and as the Author professes he is far from thinking his Piece perfect, they ought not to be angry that

he gives them leave to mend it.

He has had the Satisfaction to please some Readers, and to see good Men approve it; and for the rest, as my Lord

Rochester

says in another Case,

He counts their Censure Fame.

As for a certain Reverend Gentleman, who is pleased gravely to dislike the Work

(

he hopes, rather for the Author’s sake than the

Devil’s)

he only says,

Let the Performance be how it will, and the Author what he will, it is apparent he has not yet preach’d away all his Hearers.

It is enough to me (says the Author) that the

Devil

himself is not pleased with my Work, and less with the Design of it; let the

Devil

and all his fellow Complainers stand on one side, and the honest, well meaning, charitable World, who approve my Work, on the other, and I’ll tell Noses with

Satan,

if he dares.

PART I

Chap.

Being an Introduction to the whole Work

I doubt not but the title of this book will amuse some of my reading friends a little at first; they will make a pause, perhaps, as they do at a witch’s prayer, and be some time resolving whether they had best look into it or no, lest they should really raise the

Devil

by reading his story.

Children and old women have told themselves so many frightful things

of the Devil

, and have form’d ideas of him in their minds, in so many horrible and monstrous shapes, that really it were enough to fright the

Devil

himself, to meet himself in the dark, dress’d up in the several figures which imagination has form’d for him in the minds of men; and as for themselves, I cannot think by any means that the

Devil

would terrify them half so much, if they were to converse face to face with him.

It must certainly therefore be a most useful undertaking to give the true history of this

Tyrant of the air

, this

God of the world

, this terror and aversion of mankind, which we call

Devil

; to shew what he is, and what he is not, where he is, and where he is not, when he is in us, and when he is not; for I cannot doubt but that the

Devil

is really and

bona fide

in a great many of our honest weak-headed friends, when they themselves know nothing of the matter.

Nor is the work so difficult as some may imagine. The

Devil

’s

history

is not so hard to come at, as it seems to be; His original and the first rise of his family is upon record, and as for his conduct, he has acted indeed in the dark, as to method in many things; but

in general

, as cunning as he is, he has been fool enough to expose himself in some of the most considerable transactions of his Life, and has not shewn himself a politician at all: Our old friend

Matchiavel

outdid him in many things, and I may in the process of this work give an account of several of the sons of

Adam

, and some societies of ’em too, who have out-witted

the Devil

, nay, who have out-sin’d

the Devil

, and that I think may be call’d out-shooting him in his own bow.

It may perhaps be expected of me in this history, that since I seem inclin’d to speak favourably of

Satan

, to do him justice, and to write his story impartially, I should take some pains to tell you what religion he is of; and even this part may not be so much a jest, as at first sight you may take it to be; for

Satan

has something of religion in him, I assure you; nor is he such an unprofitable

Devil

that way, as some may suppose him to be; for tho’, in reverence to my brethren, I will not reckon him among the Clergy; No not so much as a gifted Brother, yet I cannot deny, but that he often preaches, and if it be not profitably to his hearers; ’tis as much their fault, as it is out of his design.

It has indeed been suggested that he has taken orders, and that a certain Pope, famous for being an extraordinary favourite of his, gave him both institution and induction; but as this is not upon record, and therefore we have no authentic document for the probation, I shall not affirm it for a truth, for I would not slander the

Devil

It is said also, and I am apt to believe it, that he was very familiar with that holy father Pope

Silvester

II. and some charge him with personating Pope

Hildebrand

on an extraordinary occasion, and himself sitting in the chair apostolick, in a full congregation; and you may hear more of this hereafter: But as I do not meet with Pope

Diabolus

among the list; in all father

Platina

’s lives of the Popes, so I am willing to leave it as I find it.

But to speak to the point, and a nice point it is I acknowledge;

namely

, what religion

the Devil

is of; my answer will indeed be general, yet not at all ambiguous, for I love to speak positively and with undoubted evidence.

He is a believer.

And if in saying so it should follow, that even the

Devil

has more religion than some of our men of fame can at this time be charged with, I hope my Lord – and his Grace the – of – and some of the upper class in the red-hot club, will not wear the coat, however well it may sit to their shapes, or challenge the Satyr, as if it were pointed at them, because ’tis due to them: In a word, whatever their Lordships are, I can assure them that the

Devil

is no Infidel.

He fears God.

We have such abundant evidence of this in sacred History, that if I were not at present, in common with a few others, talking to an infidel sort of Gentlemen, with whom those remote things call’d Scriptures are not allow’d in evidence, I might say it was sufficiently prov’d; but I doubt not in the process of this undertaking to shew, that

the Devil

really

fears God

, and that after another manner than ever he fear’d Saint

Frances

or Saint

Dunstan

; and if that be proved, as I take upon me to advance, I shall leave it to judgment, who’s the better Christian,

the Devil

who

believes

and

trembles

, or our modern gentry of – who believe neither

God nor Devil

Having thus brought the

Devil

within the

Pale

, I shall leave him among you for the present; not but that I may examine in its order who has the best claim to his brotherhood, the Papists or the Protestants; and among the latter the Lutherans or the Calvinists; and so descending to all the several denominations of churches, see who has less of

the Devil

in them, and who more; and whether

less

the Devil has not a seat in every synagogue, a pew in every church, a place in every pulpit, and a vote in every synod; even from the Sanhedrim of the

Jews

, to our friends at the

Bull and Mouth

, &c. from the greatest to the least.

It will, I confess, come very much within the compass of this part of my discourse, to give an account,

or at least make an essay toward it

, of the share

the Devil

has had in the spreading religion in the world; and especially of dividing and subdividing opinions in religion; perhaps, to eke it out and make it reach the farther; and also to shew how far he is or has made himself a missionary of the famous clan

de propaganda fide

; it is true, we find him heartily employ’d in almost every corner of the world

ad propagandum errorem

: But that may require a history by it self.

As to his propagating religion, ’tis a little hard indeed, at first sight, to charge

the Devil

with propagating religion, that is to say, if we take it literally, and in the gross; but if you take it as the

Scots

insisted to take the oath of fidelity,

viz.

with an

explanation

, it is plain

Satan

has very often had a share in the method, if not in the design of propagating the

christian faith

: For example.

I think I do no injury at all to the Devil, to say that he had a great hand in the old

holy war

, as it was ignorantly and enthusiastically call’d; stirring up the christian princes and powers of

Europe

to run a madding after the

Turks

and

Saracens

, and make war with those innocent people above a thousand miles off, only because they entred into God’s heritage when he had forsaken it; graz’d upon his ground when he had fairly turn’d it into a common, and laid it open for the next comer; spending their nation’s treasure, and embarking their kings and people, (I say) in a war above a thousand miles off, filling their heads with that religious madness, call’d, in those days,

holy zeal

to recover the

terra sancta

, the sepulchers of Christ and the Saints, and as they call’d it falsly, the

holy city

, tho’ true religion says it was the accursed city, and not worth spending one drop of blood for.

This religious

Bubble

was certainly of

Satan

, who, as he craftily drew them in, so like a true

Devil

he left them in the lurch when they came there, fac’d about to the

Saracens

, animated the immortal

Saladin

against them, and manag’d so dexterously that he left the bones of about thirteen or fourteen hundred thousand Christians there as a trophy of his infernal politicks; and after the christian world had run

a la santa terra

, or in

English

saunt’ring

, about a hundred year, he dropt it to play another game less foolish, but ten times wickeder than that which went before it,

namely

, turning the crusadoes of the Christians one against another; and, as

Hudibras

said in another case,

“Made them fight like mad or drunk

“For dame religion as for punk.

Of this you have a compleat account in the history of the Popes decrees against the Count

de Thoulouse

, and the

Waldenses

and

Albigenses

, with the crusadoes and massacres which follow’d upon them, wherein to do

the Devil

’s politicks some justice, he met with all the success he could desire; the zealots of that day executed his infernal orders most punctually, and planted religion in those countries in a glorious and triumphant manner, upon the destruction of an infinite number of innocent people, whose blood has fatten’d the soil for the growth of the Catholick faith, in a manner very particular, and to Satan’s full satisfaction.

I might, to compleat this part of his history, give you the detail of his progress in these first steps of his alliances with

Rome

; and add a long list of massacres, wars, and expeditions in behalf of religion, which he has had the honour to have a visible hand in; such as the

Parisian

massacre, the

Flemish

war under the Duke

d’ Alva

, the

Smithfield

fires in the

Marian days

England

, and the massacres in

Ireland

; all which would most effectually convince us that

the Devil

has not been idle in his business; but I may meet with these again in my way, ’tis enough, while I am upon the generals only, to mention them thus in a summary way; I say, ’tis enough to prove that

the Devil

has really been as much concerned as any body, in the methods taken by some people for propagating the christian religion in the world.

Some have rashly, and I had almost said maliciously charg’d

the Devil

with the great triumphs of his friends the

Spaniards

America

, and would place the conquest of

Mexico

and

Peru

to the credit of his account.

But I cannot join with them in this at all, I must say, I believe

the Devil

was innocent of that matter; my reason is, because,

Satan

was never such a fool as to spend his time, or his politicks, or embark his allies to conquer nations who were already his own; that would be

Satan

against

Beelzebub

, making war upon himself, and at least doing nothing to the purpose.

If they should charge him, indeed, with deluding

Philip

II. of

Spain

into that preposterous attempt call’d

the Armada

, (

anglice

, the

Spanish Invasion

,) I should indeed more readily join with them; but whether he did it weakly, in hope,

which was indeed not likely

, that it should succeed; or wickedly, to destroy that great fleet of the

Spaniards

, and draw them within the reach of his own dominions, the elements; this being a question which authors differ exceedingly about, I shall leave it to decide it self.

But the greatest piece of management, which we find

the Devil

has concern’d himself in of late, in the matter of religion, seems to be that of the mission into

China

; and here indeed

Satan

has acted his master-piece: It was, no doubt, much for his service that

the Chineses

should have no insight into matters of religion, I mean, that we call christian; and therefore, tho’

Popery

and the

Devil

are not at so much variance as some may imagine, yet he did not think it safe to let the general system of Christianity be heard of among them in

China

. Hence when the name of the christian religion had but been received with some seeming approbation in the country of

Japan

Satan

immediately, as if alarm’d at the thing, and dreading what the consequence of it might be, arm’d the

Japoneses

against it with such fury, that they expell’d it at once.

It was much safer to his designs, when, if the story be not a fiction, he put that

Dutch

witicism into the mouths of the States commanders, when they came to

Japan

; who having more wit than to own themselves Christians in such a place as that, when the question was put to them, answered negatively,

That they were not

, but that

they were of another religion call’d

Hollanders.

However, it seems the diligent

Jesuits

out-witted the Devil in

China

, and, as I said above, over-shot him in his own Bow; for the mission being in danger

by the Devil and the

Chinese

Emperor

’s

joining together

, of being wholly expell’d there too, as they had been in

Japan

, they cunningly fell in with the ecclesiasticks of the country, and joining the priestcraft of both religions together, they brought

Jesus Christ

and

Confucius

to be so reconcilable, that the

Chinese

and the

Roman

idolatry appeared capable of a confederacy, of going on hand in hand together, and consequently of being very good friends.

This was a master-piece indeed, and,

as they say

, almost frighted

Satan

out of his wits; but he being a ready manager, and particularly famous for serving himself of the rogueries of the priests, fac’d about immediately to the mission, and making a virtue of necessity, clapt in, with all possible alacrity, with the proposal

N. B. He never refus’d setting his hand to any opinion, which he thought it for his interest to acknowledge.

; so the

Jesuits

and he form’d a

hotch-potch

religion

made up of

Popery

and

Paganism

and calculated to leave the latter rather worse than they found it, binding the faith of Christ and the philosophy or morals of

Confucius

together, and formally christening them by the name of

religion

; by which means the politick interest of the mission was preserved; and yet

Satan

lost not one inch of ground with the

Chineses

, no, not by the planting the Gospel it self,

such as it was

, among them.

Nor has it been such disadvantage to him that this plan or scheme of a new modell’d religion would not go down at

Rome

, and that the Inquisition damn’d it with Bell, Book and Candle; distance of place serv’d his new allies, the missionaries, in the stead of a protection from the Inquisition; and now and then a rich present well plac’d found them friends in the congregation it self; and where any Nuncio with his impudent zeal pretended to take such a long voyage to oppose them,

Satan

took care to get him sent back

re infecta

, or inspir’d the million to move him off the premisses, by methods of their own (that is to say, being interpreted) to

murther him

Thus the mission has in itself been truly

devilish

, and the Devil has interested himself in the planting the christian religion in

China

The influence

the Devil

has in the Politicks of mankind, is another especial part of his history, and would require, if it were possible, a very exact description; but here we shall necessarily be obliged to inquire so nicely into the Arcana of circumstances, and unlock the cabinets of state in so many courts, canvass the councils of ministers and the conduct of princes so fully, and expose them so much, that it may, perhaps, make a combustion among the great politicians abroad; and in doing that we may come so near home too, that tho’ personal safety and prudentials forbid our medling with our own country, we may be taken in a double entendre, and fall unpitied for being only suspected of touching truths that are so tender, whether we are guilty or no; on these accounts I must meddle the less with that part, at least for the present.

Be it that the Devil has had a share in some of the late councils of

Europe

, influencing them this way or that way, to his own advantage, what is it to us? For example, What if he has had any concern in the late affair of

Thorn

? What need we put it upon him, seeing his confederates the

Jesuites

with the

Assessorial

tribunal of

Poland

take it upon themselves? I shall leave that part to the issue of time. I wish it were as easy to persuade the world that he had no hand in bringing the injur’d Protestants to leave the justice due to the cries of protestant blood to the arbitrament of a popish power, who dare say that

the Devil

must be in it, if justice should be obtain’d that way: I should rather say,

the Devil

is in it, or else it would never be expected.

It occurs next to enquire from the premisses, whether

the Devil

has more influence or less in the affairs of the world now, than he had in former ages; and this will depend upon comparing, as we go along, his methods and way of working in past times, and the modern politicks by which he acts in our days; with the differing reception which he has met with among the men of such distant ages.

But there is so much to enquire of about

the Devil

, before we can bring his story down to our modern times, that we must for the present let them drop, and look a little back to the remoter parts of this history; drawing his picture that people may know him when they meet him, and see who and what he is, and what he has been doing ever since he got leave to act in the high station he now appears in.

In the mean time, if I might obtain leave to present an humble petition to

Satan

, it should be, that he would according to modern usage oblige us all, with writing

the history of his own times

; ’twould, as well as one that is gone before it, be a Devilish good one; for as to the sincerity of the performance, the authority of the particulars, the justice of the characters,

&c.

if they were no better vouch’d, no more consistent with themselves, with charity, with truth, and with the honour of an historian, than the last of that kind which came abroad among us, it must be a reproach to

the Devil

himself to be the author of it.

Were

Satan

to be brought under the least obligation to write truth, and that the matters of fact, which he should write, might be depended upon, he is certainly qualified by his knowledge of things to be a compleat historian; nor could the Bishop himself,

who, by the way, has given us already the Devil of a history

, come up to him:

Milton

’s

Pandemonium

, tho’ an excellent dramatick performance, would appear a meer trifling sing-song business, beneath the dignity of

Chevy-chase

: The

Devil

could give us a true account of all the civil wars in Heaven; how and by whom, and in what manner he lost the day there, and was oblig’d to quit the field: The fiction of his refusing to acknowledge and submit to the

Messiah

, upon his being declar’d Generalissimo of the Heavenly forces, which Satan expected himself, as the eldest officer; and his not being able to brook another to be put in over his head; I say, that fine-spun thought of Mr.

Milton

would appear to be strain’d too far, and only serve to convince us that he (

Milton

) knew nothing of the matter.

Satan

knows very well, that the

Messiah

was not

declared to be the Son of God with power

till by and after

the resurrection from the dead

, and that all power was then given him

in Heaven and earth

, and not before; so that

Satan

’s rebellion must derive from other causes, and upon other occasions, as he himself can doubtless give us an account, if he thinks fit, and of which we shall speak further in this work.

What a fine History might this old Gentleman write of the Antediluvian world, and of all the weighty affairs, as well of state as of religion, which happen’d during the fifteen hundred years of the patriarchal administration!

Who, like him, could give a full and compleat account of the Deluge, whether it was a meer vindictive, a blast from Heaven, wrought by a supernatural power in the way of miracle? or whether, according to Mr.

Burnet

’s

Theory

, it was a consequence following antecedent causes by the meer necessity of nature; seen in constitution, natural position, and unavoidable working of things, as by the Theory publish’d by that learn’d enthusiast it seems to be?

Satan

could easily account for all the difficulties of the

Theory

, and tell us whether, as there was a natural necessity of the Deluge, there is not the like necessity and natural tendency to a Conflagration at last.

Would

the Devil

exert himself as an Historian, for our improvement and diversion, how glorious an account could he give us of

Noah

’s Voyage round the world, in the famous Ark! he could resolve all the difficulties about the building it, the furnishing it, and the laying up provision in it for all the collection of kinds that he had made; He could tell us whether all the creatures came voluntier to him to go into the ark, or whether he went a hunting for several years before, in order to bring them together.

He could give us a true relation how he wheedled the people of the next world into the absurd ridiculous undertaking of building a

Babel

; how far that stupendous stair-case, which was in imagination to reach up to Heaven, was carried, before it was interrupted and the builders confounded; how their speech was alter’d, how many Tongues it was divided into, or whether they were divided at all; and how many subdivisions or dialects have been made since that, by which means very few of God’s creatures, except the Brutes, understand one another, or care one farthing whether they do or no.

In all these things

Satan

, who, no doubt, would make a very good chronologist, could settle every Epocha, correct every Calendar, and bring all our accounts of time to a general agreement; as well the

Grecian Olympiads

, the

Turkish Heghira

, the

Chinese

fictitious account of the world’s duration, as our blind

Julian

and

Gregorian

accounts, which have put the world, to this day, into such confusion, that we neither agree in our holy-days or working days, fasts or feasts, nor keep the same sabbaths in any part of the same globe.

This great Antiquary could bring us to a certainty in all the difficulties of ancient story, and tell us whether the tale of the siege of

Troy

, and the rape of

Helen

was a fable of

Homer

or a history; whether the fictions of the Poets are form’d from their own brain, or founded in facts; and whether letters were invented by

Cadmus

the

Phœnician

, or dictated immediately from

Heaven

at mount

Sinai

Nay, he could tell us how and in what manner he wheedled

Eve

, deluded

Adam

, put

Cain

into a passion, till he made him murther his own brother; and made

Noah

, who was above 500 years a preacher of righteousness, turn Sot in his old age, dishonour all his ministry, debauch himself with wine, and by getting drunk and exposing himself, become the jest and laughing-stock of his children, and of all his posterity to this day.

And would Satan, according to the modern practice of the late right reverend Historian, enter into the characters of the great men of his age, how should we be diverted with the just history of

Adam

, in paradise and out of it; his character, and how he behaved at and after his expulsion; how

Cain

wandered in the land of

Nod

, what the mark was which

God

set upon him, whose daughter his wife was, and how big the city was he built there, according to a certain Poet of noble extraction,

How

Cain

in the land of

Nod

When the rascal was alone

Like an owl in an ivy tod

Built a city as big as

Roan

Roch.

He could have certainly drawn

Eve

’s picture, told us every feature in her face, and every inch in her shape, whether she was a perfect beauty or no, and whether with the fall she did grow crooked, ugly, ill-natur’d and a scold; as the learned

Valdemar

suggests to be the effects of the curse.

Descending to the character of the Patriarchs in that age, he might, no doubt, give us in particular the characters of

Belus

, worship’d under the name of

Baal

; with

Satan

, and

Jupiter

, his successors; who they were here, and how they behaved; with all the

Pharaohs

Egypt

, the

Abimilechs

Canaan

, and the great monarchs of

Assyria

and

Babylon

Hence also he is able to write the lives of all the Heroes of the world, from

Alexander

Macedon

Lewis

the XIV. and from

Augustus

to the great King

George

; nor could the Bishop himself go beyond him for flattery, any more than the Devil himself could go beyond the Bishop for falshood.

I could enlarge with a particular satisfaction upon the many fine things which

Satan

, rummaging his inexhaustible storehouse of slander, could set down to blacken the characters of good men, and load the best Princes of the world with infamy and reproach.

But we shall never prevail with him, I doubt, to do mankind so much service, as resolving all those difficulties would be; for he has an indelible grudge against us; as he believes, and perhaps is assur’d that men were at first created by his sovereign, to the intent that after a certain state of Probation in life, such of them as shall be approved, are appointed to fill up those vacancies in the Heavenly Host, which were made by the abdication and expulsion of him (

the Devil

) and his Angels; so that man is appointed to come in

Satan

’s stead, to make good the breach, and enjoy all those ineffable Joys and Beatitudes which

Satan

enjoy’d before his fall; no wonder then, that

the Devil

swells with envy and rage at mankind in general, and at the best of them in particular; nay, the granting this point is giving an unanswerable reason, why the

Devil

practises with such unwearied and indefatigable application upon the best men, if possible, to disappoint God Almighty’s decree, and that he should not find enough among the whole Race, to be proper subjects of his clemency, and qualified to succeed

the Devil

and his host, or fill up the places vacant by the Fall. It is true indeed,

the Devil

, who we have reason to say is no fool, ought to know better than to suppose that if he should seduce the whole race of mankind, and make them as bad as himself, he could, by that success of his wickedness, thwart or disappoint the determined purposes of Heaven; but that those which are appointed to inherit the Thrones, which he and his followers abdicated, and were deposed from, shall certainly be preserv’d in spite of his Devices for that inheritance, and shall have the possession secur’d to them, notwithstanding all that

the Devil

and all the Host of

Hell

can do to prevent it.

But, however he knows the certainty of this, and that when he endeavours the seducing the chosen servants of the most High, he fights against God himself, struggles with irresistible grace, and makes war with infinite power; undermining the church of God, and that faith in him which is fortified with the eternal promises of Jesus Christ, that the gates of

Hell

, that is to say, the

Devil

and all his power, shall not prevail against them; I say, however he knows the impossibility there is that he should obtain his ends, yet so blind is his rage, so infatuate his wisdom, tha

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The History of the Devil, As Well Ancient as Modern: In Two Parts

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